Don't Know What You Got Till It's Gone
by Cute-Cookie
Summary: Lily can't stand James anymore and one night she screams at him to find a new girl. So he does. Why is it then that she feels so... Jealous? Clichefree! Flames Welcome. DISCONTINUED.
1. I Don't Love You And I Never Will

**Chapter One: I don't love you and I never will.**

"I see you watching me watching you,  
And now you see just where you gotta be."

Rogue Traders 'Watching you'

* * *

_To Lily,_

_I am sorry. I am very, very sorry. You will not believe how ludicrously, sincerely sorry I am. I crave for your forgiveness. It's the only thing I want. Well, that and you. PLEASE go out with me? I'll leave Snape alone…!_

_Love, James_

_P.S. You will have realised how pathetic I sound writing this out. I know it'll make you smirk. Remember I did it for You☺_

James reread the note, wondering if he sounded too desperate. Probably. He gave a sigh and carefully folded it up; treating it so delicately it could have been porcelain, not parchment. Glancing around to make sure no one was watching, he leaned across the aisle and dropped the note onto a red headed girls desk.

The girl ignored it.

"Oh COME ON!" hissed James. "Evans, just read it! Please!"

Very slowly the girl picked the note up with the tips of her fingers and pulled it under her desk, still not looking up.

"Binn's doesn't notice anything we do," whispered James. "You don't have to read it under-"

His voice caught in his throat as a bright blue tongue of flame shot out of Lily's wand and enveloped the note. Within moments all that was left were a few scorch marks on the underside of the desk and ashes on the floor.

"AGAIN?!" yelled James indignantly, forgetting for a moment where he was. Heads turned towards him, although many were sleeping to deeply to be aroused.

"MR POLNER," barked Professor Binns from the front of the room. "You continuously disrupt my class with your immature antics. Stay behind after the bell to discuss your behaviour!"

"Yes sir…" mumbled James, chancing a glance at Lily. Although her head was still down, he could have sworn he saw the corners of her upturned lips.

Was it a smirk or a smile…?

Gryffindor common room was exceptionally noisy that night. It was the night before the summer holidays, and everyone was making the most of the time they had left with their friends. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter all sat next to the fireplace discussing the events of the past year.

"I still can't believe he fell for it though," commented James. "I mean we pulled his knickers off him in front of what, fifty people, and the next day he's dumb enough to let it happen AGAIN. What the hell?"

"I know what you mean mate," Sirius let out a bark of laughter. "I thought only Peter was that stupid. I was wrong!"

The fire flickered eerily, casting Peter's face into darkness.

"_One day, I'll kill you all_," he vowed under his breath menacingly.

"Pardon?" asked Lupin. "You always mumble. Speak up!"

Peter cleared his throat. "Nothing."

James wasn't listening to this exchange; he was gazing dreamily over at Lily who was sitting with her friends, chatting animatedly. His heart skipped a beat as she glanced around and saw him staring. Her face instantly hardening, Lily got to her feet and started stalking towards the Marauders.

"Uh-oh" murmured Sirius, who had turned around to see what James was looking at. "She doesn't look too happy…"

Lily crossed the room in just three strides. Her crimson hair seemed to bristle with electricity, and the aura surrounding her was so intense that half the room fell into a terrified hush. Peter gave a small whimper only to have a wide-eyed Lupin clamp a hand over his mouth. Lily stared down at James with a bright green laser ray.

"Uh… Hi," ventured James. "How are- "

"Why don't you just take a picture," interrupted Lily in a whisper of cold fury. "It would last longer."

James flinched, and decided not to tell her about the one under his pillow.

"Well, I um. Y-Yeah about that. Well..." James stammered. Lily was SCARY.

"Why do you have to be such a desperate **ASSHOLE**?" she snarled. "Everywhere I go I got _you_ tagging along: 'Evans, I love you', 'Evans, go out with me', 'Evans, give me a chance', 'Evans. Evans. **EVANS**.' I am **SICK** of you being such a loser!"

"What's so wrong about being in love!?" yelped James.

"You call _that_ love? The rest of the world calls it stalking!"

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

"Does NOT!"

"They do- oh screw it!" Lily threw her hands up into the air. "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! You're not _that_ ugly, go find some other girl! Get it through your big head: I **don't** love you and I **never** will!" She stormed off up the staircase to the girl's dormitories, leaving behind a stunned silence.

None of the Marauders spoke for a full ten minutes. James broke it first.

"Did you hear that? She doesn't think I'm ugly!" he said hopefully.

"_That_ ugly," corrected Lupin.

James's face fell. "Yeah. Wow she looked pissed off. Did any of you guys see her face?"

"I looked at her for about two seconds, but any more and I would have turned to stone. Look," Sirius said leaning in. "I think its time you give up on her. It's been five years and I hate to break it to you, but if you keep it up you're gonna grow up to be one of those obsessed perverts."

"I'm not gonna be a pervert!" protested James. "But yeah… I guess part of me already knows that. And especially the way she yelled at me…" He trailed off miserably, gazing into the ashy depths of the now extinct fire.

There was another long silence. Lupin, Sirius and Peter all exchanged looks. They were James's best mates and all but they'd been listening to his Ramblings About Lily for years and they were fairly sick of it.

"This is such BULLSHIT!" exploded James suddenly. "Ok people. Tonight is the last night that I'm ever going to think of Evans again. I ain't going to talk or show off to her or anything. And... I'll go find me a new girl!"

The others exchanged looks again but this time of doubt.

"Are you sure about this, Prongs?" asked Lupin quickly. 'What if subconsciously it's all just to make her jealous?"

"Whose side are you on, Mister??" complained James. "How would it make her jealous? It was her sodding idea in the first place! Just got to keep focused, I suppose. Holidays tomorrow should help!"

"Yippee. Someone pinch me," muttered Sirius darkly.

"Parents still pure-blood fanatics?"

"Yeah."

"Ah well. Come stay at mine for the hols. Anytime you want, my parents love you," offered James.

"I'm going to hold you to that!"

James laughed. 'You do that. I'm shit sleepy. Gonna go to bed. Wake me up in time for the train tomorrow…"

He walked up to his dormitory and collapsed onto his bed, not bothering to change. Pulling the blanket tightly around him, James looked up at the night sky through the window next to his bed, and gave a futile sigh. It was beautiful, a deep blue with twinkling stars scattered here and there. A large silver one sparkled far off in the distance.

_Is she looking up at it as well?_

…_What's she wishing for?_

_Lily… I'm going to try my best._

_I want you to be happy._

_Even if I have to let you go._

* * *

Authors Note:

I'm worried about starting this fanfic 2-3 months before the 7th book comes out. Rowling has stated that we will find something extremely important about Lily in it, so I am hoping HEAPS nothing I write will contradict it! I don't want to wait 3 months to post this. I'm doing it now!

The letter James wrote at the very start is apologising for how he treated Snape in the pensieve. He's not sorry though, as you can tell from his conversation...

So that was Chapter One! Being the caring author that I am -cough- I need to know what you guys think. I was mucking around with this first part, so review me saying if you want me to tone the drama up or down, keep it the same etc. Anything you want to see, song lyrics you wanna suggest, comments, whatever, tell me. FLAMES WELCOME. How else will I improve?

If you like it so far, add to favourites and check back weekly for updates. Not meaning to beg and whine but... Dudes and Dudettes! Review me so I know if I should continue!

What a long A/N. Gah.

Have a nice day!


	2. Love Potion Druggie

**Chapter Two: Love Potion Druggie**

"Everybody's gonna love today,  
Anyway you _want_ to, anyway you've _got_ to,  
Love love me, love love me, love love"

Mika 'Love Today'

* * *

Hogwarts Express – Day One of 6th year

* * *

The scarlet steam engine whistled its way through the lush green country at a relentless rate. And I can't be f-cked finishing this unnecessary part so lets skip to the conversation...

"So what's up with him?" Lupin asked, pointing to James. "He hasn't mentioned _her_ in the last two hours. That's a record, right?"

'Padfoot. Explain." giggled James, not tearing his gaze away from the sky outside. There was a blissful, vacant look around him.

Sirius grinned. "Long story."

"Long train ride."

He laughed. "Good point."

"Well?" piped up Pettigrew. "What happened?"

"Patience, scrawny one," Sirius leaned comfortably back into his chair. "My tale begins one dark stormy night in the Black manor. Darling Mrs. Black was screaming her little lungs out at her eldest son. So too shorten it considerably, he ran away from home, was adopted into the potter family and shoved love potion down his best friends throat."

Whatever Lupin and Pettigrew had been expecting, it wasn't that.

"WHAT!" Lupin shouted in shock. "You ran away – Love potion! Huh??"

Sirius grinned. "I, Sirius Black-Potter, ran away from home, was graciously accepted into James family and in an effort to protect his best friend from becoming a paedophile, gave him a love potion. How was your guys holiday?"

"I can't believe you.." Lupin said, sweeping a hand through his hair. "W-who's the girl?"

"Sara Chan…" James murmured dreamily, his face alight with a radiant glow.

"And she is…"

"This real pretty Asian girl who moved in across the street. Jimmy-Boy here, ever the romantic that he is, found out that their bedroom windows faced each other. He spent one whole month trying to woo her before he realised he hadn't asked her out yet," Sirius shook his head, laughing. "She said yes."

Next to him James gave a wide smile, one eye slightly unfocused.

"And where does the love potion come in?" asked Pettigrew confused.

"Well… James did try. Like really, really try to like Sara more than Evans. But yesterday… he took me aside and told me to make him take it when we go back to Hogwarts."

The three of them turned to look at James who was singing "Love Today" under his breath and doodling little hearts on his trunk.

There was a huge soppy grin plastered on his face.

"It um. Seems to be working." Added Sirius unnecessarily.

Lupin looked at him incredulously. "And you don't feel guilty _at all?_"

"Of course I did! He's our best mate! But when you actually think about it, it sounds like a decent idea. Potter wanted to get over Evans, Evans wanted to be left alone, and Sara is amazing! She deserves a loyal boyfriend. It's a win win situation. James does like her shit loads and all, he just liked Evans more. This makes sure that everything's fair."

"He's got a point there," put in Pettigrew.

"Are you serious?" argued Lupin. "You're drugging him to be someone that he's not!"

"To make sure he's happy and stops annoying other people!"

"Its wrong!"

"_I've been crying for so long, fighting tears just to carry on, but now, but now, it's gone away_," sang James, who did not seem to be listening at all.

Silence between the other Marauders.

"It's still wrong," Lupin said quietly.

"I know mate but still…" Sirius said empathetically "I honestly don't think theres any other way."

Lupin opened his mouth and after awhile, closed it. Finally he said "We'd better get changed. We're nearly there."

Sirius looked out the window and saw the tall turrets of the castle approaching in the falling darkness. "Here we go."

"And so it commences," added Pettigrew.

"Wormtail you asshole. You just wrecked the mood."

* * *

Authors Note: This Chapter is dedicated to Lily Summer, Devouring Sarcasm Phantasm, Freja (I'm sticking to first names now), Faerie, Genairco and some dude who's not scared of spiders. Isn't it lovely to think that even if you die tomorrow, a record of you still lives on?

Also I may not be able to post anything up within the next 3 weeks cause I got speeches coming up in English. And I always memorise my speech, and if I write a new chapter then I might accidentally memorise part of that and I'll look like a real dickhead if I quote some random shit from here in front of everyone LOL. Excusing my language!

Is that a new shirt you're wearing? LOVE IT!

Review. Cause I feel like we have a true connection and all..


	3. The End

**I'm going to write this... knowing the ending of Deathly Hallows. So those of you who haven't read it, I'm doing my best not to include spoilers. It's hard.**

**To faithful Dudes and Dudettes who could be bothered getting to chapter 3:**

**TY! I normally give up on fanfics about 3 sentences into the first chapter. **

**Anyway…**

**James and Lily were my absolute favourite couple. No questions abut it. But then… I read Deathly Hallows (what I'm talking about is in one of the last chapters).**

**And I realised… I HATE JAMES!!! Even though _technicall_y he did nothing wrong. They are now my least favourite couple. Might be an exaggeration… but whatever.**

**But (trying not to do spoilers) my new favourite couple is Lily and... That Dude. If you read the book, you know who I'm talking about. I would NEVER have believed it if I hadn't read it. Wow. Just... wow. Its like Draco and Hermione getting it on. Shipped, but Shit. (Sorry.. but I have to point out the alliteration in that J)**

**I thought James and Lily would be unrequited love, but Lily and… wow. **

**So anyway.. this fanfic is over! I'm sorry guys, but there is no way in hell that I can possibly keep writing about this shit. None! I'd delete this, but its on a lot of favourites and alerts lists so I won't... However, I'm willing for someone else to take over writing it, if you really want too. But you got to tell me, and I got to agree.**

**So sorry guys. Take this off your alerts/favourites if you wanna, cause it's just going to waste space. Oh.. and to Lily Summer.. Don't hate me for this! Still be my german buddy:P**

**To quote something just so I sound smart:**

**"NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"**

_Molly Weasley to Bellatrix Lestrange, HPDH_


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